


Operation Dump His Ass

by chai_lattes



Category: A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, F/F, Fluff, I do what I want, M/M, Sibling Bonding, au where theon isn't a fucking dick, be in high school at the same time, but we'll pretend that the age gap between renly and robert, inaccurate portrayal of high school probably, is big enough that renly and joffrey, margaery and loras are twins because it's adorable and why not, renly is still joffrey's uncle
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-07
Updated: 2016-04-28
Packaged: 2018-05-25 05:13:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 14,024
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6181669
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chai_lattes/pseuds/chai_lattes
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Loras Tyrell is roped into another one of his sister Margaery's dastardly schemes to right the evils of high school. This time, though, Margaery needs to get her longtime crush, Sansa Stark, to finally break up with her asshole boyfriend. While happy to help, Loras is dealing with problems of his own, namely asshole boyfriend's unusually young, extremely hot uncle.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Identify a Target

Margaery was plotting. That was always a bad sign.

Loras could read his twin sister like a book. A picture book. Everything you needed to know about Margaery Tyrell was on her mouth. Of course her eyes gave some clues, but Loras could translate every angle of her smirk to a different emotion. 

Today, she swung open the door to his room and her pink painted lips were quirked at the angle that told him she had another dastardly scheme in mind. Margaery specialized in matchmaking and righting all the wrongs of high school, like some sort of vigilante socialite. Which meant more often than not, Loras got roped into helping her.

Loras sighed and flipped his book closed as Margaery closed the door behind her. 

“I was doing homework.” He complained, running a hand through his blond curls. “We have to finish The Great Gatsby by tomorrow, remember? Can your schemes wait?”

“How did you know I was scheming?” Margaery asked. “Nevermind. Anyways, I finished that ages ago. But this can’t wait.”

Loras considered his options for a minute. He was close enough to the end of the book. And anyways, it was Mr. Lannister’s (the nice Mr. Lannister, Tyrion) class so he wouldn’t get in too much trouble if he didn’t finish. And besides, it didn’t matter what he said, Margaery would keep talking anyways. 

“Fine. But only if you let me borrow your notes.” 

Margaery grinned and pulled out The Notebook. To say Margaery was organized was an understatement. Despite her wild demeanor, everything was penciled down in a basic, black and white composition notebook, stuffed fat with extra sheets of paper and sticky notes containing everything from homework and her cheer schedule, to complex diagrams detailing the social lives of everyone at school. This was edition #8, which she marked on the front cover, and Loras saw the entire bookshelf full of notebooks in her room. 

“The Notebook? Looks like this is a pretty serious scheme, huh?”

“This is a plan of the utmost importance.” Margaery hissed, cracking open the notebook to reveal a list written in purple gel pen. “And I need your help.”

“You always need my help.” Loras teased, peeking over the top of her notebook to read the list.

The top of the page read in all caps _Operation Dump his Ass._

“A breakup scheme? This is a little different than what you usually do.” Loras glanced at his sister, confused. As usual, Margaery’s notebook was filled with codenames, they were all kept record of somewhere she’d never tell Loras, so the majority of it made no sense. 

If Margaery had put in as much work in her lab reports as her gossip, Loras thought, she’d be a genius. The paper read: 

__

Abstract: Due to some worrying rumors, I have come to the conclusion that Lady’s boyfriend, Dick Boyfriend, is an unhealthy match for her, and due to concern for her personal well being (and absolutely nothing to do with my massive crush on her) I plan to highlight his negative qualities and cause Lady to realize Dick Boyfriend is wrong her and cause them to break up. 

__

__

1: Identify Target: Lady and Dick boyfriend, enlist help (Rose Boy, Wolf Pack maybe??)

__

2: Gather information on Dick Boyfriend

__

3: Gather information on Dick Boyfriend from Lady, see what she knows/thinks

__

3: Ally with Wolf Pack

__

4: Cause some sort of public scandal

__

5: Inform Lady

__

6: Complete Task

“So,” Loras asked when he’d finished reading the list. “I can’t help you until I know. Who’s Lady?”

Margaery sighed and sat down next to Loras, pulling her auburn ponytail out and letting her hair tumble around her shoulders. She stared at her hands for a minute, hesitant to tell Loras. That was one thing he couldn’t read about his sister. She’d managed to keep her romantic conquests completely under the radar, preferring to set up her friends. 

“Come on, Marge.” He nudged her shoulder, and she smiled slightly. 

“It’s Sansa.” Margery confided, blushing. 

“How did I never guess that?” Loras asked in disbelief. Sansa and Margaery had been best friends practically since they could walk. Last year when Margaery was in high school but Sansa still wasn’t had been almost the end of the world for his sister. But even now, every weekend when Sansa wasn’t at the Tyrells’, Margaery was at the Starks’. “So you already have a first hand witness of how protective her family is. Even if I was straight, I’d be too scared of Robb and Jon to ever date Sansa.”

“Oh please. They’re harmless.” He didn’t know about that. They were both on the football team with him, and though they liked Loras, he was still a little terrified of the two seniors.

“So if Sansa is Lady, I assume that means Dick Boyfriend is that freshman prick Joffrey Baratheon?”

“Yes. Satan incarnate.” She groaned. “Honestly, I don’t know what the fuck ever convinced her to date that sadistic, evil, little bitch baby!”

“Physical intimidation, probably?” Loras suggested. “Not himself, of course. Joffrey can’t lift his own backpack without pulling a muscle.”

Loras laughed at his own joke, but his sister was still decidedly unmoved.

“That’s what I’m worried about.” She mumbled. 

“Hey, Marge,” Loras put an arm around his sister. “We’ll get to the bottom of this. You’re scheme will totally pay off. Have any of your plans not gone over seamlessly before? You even got Jon and Ygritte to get together!”

She smiled and wiped at her eyes. “And yet you still refuse to let me help you.”

Loras tensed up at that. “I told you, Margaery, I don’t want him to know.”

“And why not? You’re crazy about him!”

“Exactly!” He said, running a frustrated hand through his hair. “I can’t just scare him off! He’d never want to see me again.”

“And then who’d keep you from failing bio.” Margaery said dryly. “I swear one day you’ll be begging me to help you. Then you’ll thank me.”

“I can handle myself, Marge.”

Fortunately, the tension was cut by a voice calling them to dinner from downstairs.

“You’re off the hook this time, Loras.” Margaery pointed at him before hurrying down the stairs. “But remember, you still have to face him tonight!”


	2. Gather Information on Dick Boyfriend

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Loras meets Renly for what is SO TOTALLY NOT a study date. Margaery and Sansa text like teenage girls because, well, they are.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> do i need to say this? i might. FYI i don't own any of these characters, I just like to think that every time a cute, happy GoT fic is posted, George RR Martin wakes up in a cold sweat in the middle of the night in horror.

Margaery was right. Loras did have to face him eventually. 

The night was one of those perfect spring nights where it was still warm as the sun slipped from the sky, leaving the horizon pink and blue. Loras was glad it was finally warm enough that he could walk outside comfortably instead of Margaery having to drive him (they both took drivers ed over the summer. Margaery got her license the day after the class ended. Loras failed twice and got in a fight with the instructor).

After taking a quick detour to his favorite coffee shop, Loras turned the corner onto Storm’s End road, down to the house he could find in his sleep. No matter how much time he spend here, his heart still hammered every time he stood on the doorstep.

He didn’t even have to knock. The door swung open practically as soon as Loras stood on the doorstep, a tall boy with dark hair and a bright grin beaming down at him.

_Renly._ Loras sighed internally. If Margaery knew the extent of how sappy he was in his head, he’d never be able to live it down. But Renly Baratheon had that effect on him. 

“You’re late.” Renly said, but he threw in a wink and opened the door wider for Loras to come in. “I was beginning to think you didn’t need me to tutor you anymore.”

“Watch out Mr. AP Bio, soon enough I’ll be teaching you.” Loras grinned, holding out one of the coffee cups to his best friend. “Here, I stopped by The Wall. Black, like your soul.”

“My favorite.” Renly took a sip of his coffee and sighed with pleasure. “I literally love you. You have no idea how much I needed this today. I assume you got one of your ridiculously sweet drinks.”

“Don’t disrespect my caramel latte!” Loras gasped in mock horror.

“There gets to a point where it can’t be considered coffee anymore. Pumpkin spice season is the worst.” Renly groaned. “Honestly you drink so much of that stuff I can smell it on you from september to christmas.”

“Then it’s peppermint mocha.” Loras winked and beckoned Renly to follow him up the stairs. “But I won’t hold it against you that you hate happiness. I still need to pass bio.”

Renly’s room was as familiar to Loras as his own. Renly was the youngest child, and the only one who still lived at home. Robert was already 20 when Renly was born, which meant after Stannis moved out a few years ago, Renly got the big room, plus the couch where Loras basically lived and the TV. A few pictures hung on the walls, documenting the pair’s awkward younger years. A few pictures featured their other friends: Brienne, Robb, Jon, Margaery, and Dany, but for the most part it was Renly and Loras.

“Oh my god, how many times have I told you to take this one down.” Loras whined and pointed to a particularly horrible shot of him in sixth grade when he decided he wanted long hair. 

“I like it. Reminds me that you weren’t always so fucking perfect. It gives us all hope.” Renly snickered and collapsed onto the couch, only laughing harder when Loras pouted. “All the sulking in the world can’t save you. Now, I believe we’ve got a lab report to write.”

Loras sighed and pulled his laptop and textbook out of his backpack. His lab partner, Oberyn, was thoroughly useless and spent the majority of the class texting, which meant he turned to Renly. The Sunday night homework party had been a long standing tradition between the two of them. This year it had turned from the two of them merely working side by side while eating pizza to Renly helping his friend not to fail sophomore biology. 

There was an easy intimacy between them as Renly tried to make cell proteins make sense and Loras typed away furiously on his laptop. Loras had a reputation of being a self described bad bitch, but he had a soft side reserved only for Renly. But as he reminded him often, let anyone know that Loras Tyrell was a huge softie and he was dead. Even though there was plenty of space on the couch, Renly sat close to him and Loras had his legs thrown over his friend’s lap. 

The comfortable silence was broken by Renly’s phone dinging. Loras watched as he checked the message and his face fell into disgust.

“Loras, I need your help.” Renly said seriously, dark eyes looking intently into Loras’.

“Yeah?” Loras asked, lifting a skeptical eyebrow.

“My brother-Robert, it’s a miracle he’s sober enough to text-just reminded me I have to attend my nephew’s birthday party this weekend.”

“Which nephew?” Loras asked, but his question was answered by just Renly’s expression. Loras had met both nephews, the cute little one from spending New Year’s with the Baratheons, and  
the unpleasant one from school.

The unpleasant nephew was Dick Boyfriend himself, Joffrey Baratheon.

“I need you to help me pick out a horrible gift for him that he’ll hate.” Renly explained, absentmindedly drumming his fingers on Loras’ leg. “Also I need moral support to actually show up to  
a big family gathering. So, I know my family is terrifying, but it would mean a lot if you came with me. We’ll avoid aunt Cercei I promise, and Tommen will be excited to see you.”

Loras could feel his face flush, but he quickly tried to subdue his idiotic grin.

“Yeah, of course Renly. I’m your knight in shining armor. I’ll save you from your horrible relatives.”

*

Margaery was lying in bed flipping through a magazine when her phone buzzed. She eagerly unlocked it, and saw it was just the person she’d hoped to talk to.

**Marg, sos.** Sansa’s message read. Margaery frowned and typed back a response.

**What’s up, girl?**

 

Before Margaery could even switch to twitter, Sansa’s gray bubble popped up at the bottom of the screen.

**Joff’s birthday is friday. I totally forgot!! :(**

She groaned. Naturally she was talking about Dick Boyfriend. Lately that was all she talked about, but not in a positive way. Of course she was terrified. Joffrey was a jerk when Sansa doted on him, if she forgot to get him a present, she didn’t even want to think about it.

**Emergency shopping wednesday?** Margaery quickly typed back, heart racing. She had a long list of what she referred to as “practice dates” with Sansa for when she could finally take her out on a real one. Every time they went to the movies, to the mall, or just to each other’s houses, Margaery kept track of what Sansa’s favorite foods were, the stores she loved to look at but never bought from, her favorite movies, all things that she’d need to know to be the best girlfriend ever. 

Now all Sansa needed to do was dump Dick Boyfriend.

**Yes omg.** Sansa replied immediately with several purple heart emojis. **literally love you Marg.**

Margaery groaned and flopped down on her bed. The hardest part about being in love with Sansa was watching her get treated like shit by her boyfriend, but the complicated and exquisite torture of her unintentional flirtiness and casual way of making Margaery’s heart pound and mouth dry. But of course, best friends never tell.

**ily2.** She laughed as she sent the text. Girls sucked. You could never tell when a girl’s straight or she’s really hitting on you. **how’s life at the Stark household?**

**the usual. theon hasn’t left since thursday. He and Robb have taken over the basement to play video games.**

**just video games? ;)**

**MARG EW i don’t want to think about that gross. Theon’s like my brother. and Robb IS my brother!!!**

**and yet they’re dating.** Margaery smirked. Another one of her successful matchmaking operations. Loras was right. All of her schemes had worked so far, but they’d never been about her. 

**did you know Arya has a boyfriend?**

**little Arya?** Well that made Margaery depressed. Sansa’s 12 year old sister had a boyfriend and she was still single.

**well, you know. middle school dating. his name is Gendry and he’s on her soccer team. They went out to the movies last night but Robb and Jon drove them there and probably scared the shit out of him.**

**that’s adorable. and that makes 4 couples in the Stark mafia? I’m sure your dad is having a heart attack.**

**he doesn’t like joffrey :(** Margery snorted at the reply. No shit he didn’t like Joffrey. A fucking alligator was more likable than Joffrey. **neither does mom.**

**moms usually have a good radar.** She replied carefully. 

**joffrey’s sweet! I swear. He just doesn’t know how to show it.**

Margaery frowned. Sure, she knew that the blonde freshman was a fucking prick, but Sansa’s nervous words made her worry that there was something lurking under the surface.

**what do you mean? is he hurting you?**

**it’s nothing, Marg. I g2g mom’s calling. see u tomorrow!**

There was definitely something suspicious, and her scheme was more important now than ever. Not for her own sake, but for Sansa’s.

*  
Loras had his feet on Renly’s dashboard as the lights of suburbia flew by. Loras had no idea how Renly managed to pass his driver’s test when he hadn’t. Renly referred to speed limits as “speed guidelines” and blew through 50% of the stop signs they came across. There was also probably a rule about driving while distracted, and Renly would have failed that too, seeing as he was  
singing Taylor Swift at the top of his lungs. Badly.

“Ren, you’ll get us into a car crash!” Loras laughed, but Renly just winked and cranked the volume louder.

“Come on, babe, this one’s a classic! You’re on the phone-” He started, and Loras rolled his eyes but couldn’t help joining in. Renly’s enthusiasm was contagious, but Loras’ brain was stuck on something he’d said. 

Renly called him _babe._

It probably meant nothing. After all, Renly was sweet to everyone. But hearing babe roll off Renly’s lips-talking about him!-was intoxicating. So if it meant nothing, there was no harm in it, so Loras just sang louder.

He wished they could drive across the country, but the drive only lasted one and a half songs before the car pulled into Loras’ driveway. 

“I’ll see you tomorrow.” Loras said, grabbing his backpack from the backseat. When he looked up, Renly was staring at him with a strange look in his eyes, but he looked away quickly. “And when should we shop for your evil cousin?

“Wednesday, maybe? Don’t you have lacrosse practice monday and tuesday?”

“It’s a date.” Loras winked, and immediately regretted it because his face flushed bright red. “A friend date.” 

“Well, I’m not the kind of boy who high fives on the first friend date,” Renly smiled. “but we’ll see. Bye, Loras.”

“See ya, Ren.” 

Loras watched Renly’s car disappear from sight with a dopey smile on his face, thinking about how Renly’s hand lingered on his shoulder, and how his eyes stayed trained on Loras, and he called him _babe._

“Earth to Loras, come in Loras.” His sister’s voice startled him out of his daydream. 

“How long were you there?” He asked, startled, but Margaery just snickered and walked up to him.

“Not long. Enough to see you watching him drive away like you’re in some romance novel. How was the study date?”

“It wasn’t a date.” Loras said, too quickly, and Margaery raised an eyebrow.

“Oh don’t act like I don’t know what goes on. I’ve seen the instagram posts. You guys eat pizza, solve equations, and stare longingly into each other’s eyes every Sunday for the past 2 years.  
When will you make a move?”

“Margaery, I told you, I don’t need you to set me up!” Loras snapped. “I’ll tell him eventually, I just. I want to do it on my own terms.”

“Okay! I gotcha.” She threw her hands up in mock surrender. “But you seem even more lovesick than usual tonight. Anything happen?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” He said, but Margaery could catch her brother in a lie as he could catch her in a scheme. “Well, he invited me to be his moral support at his horrible nephew’s birthday party with his entire horrible family. And we’re shopping for a terrible gift for Joffrey on Wednesday.”

“And they say romance is dead.”

“Also he called me babe.”

“He called you babe?” Margaery squeaked, clapping her hands. “Honestly, if you guys don’t go to prom together, high school will have no meaning.”

“And how’s the Sansa front?” He asked, but the smile dropped from Margaery’s face and she began to fiddle with the hem of her shirt.

“I’m worried about her.”

“Well, then we better kick Operation Dump His Ass up a notch.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey fam! Look at this, two chapters posted within a week! I'm hoping that I'll be able to keep this updated in at least a semi-regular fashion. As usual feel free to comment! Tell me what you like, tell me what you didn't like, tell me your dreams. And hit me up on tumblr at hoebiwan.tumblr.com to see what i'm up to/yell at me to update faster.  
> xoxo gossip girl


	3. See What She Knows

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Tyrell Siblings go shopping with their respective romantic interests and it's just as cute as you think it is.

Wednesdays were the best, because Margaery’s last class of the day was art. She was shit at art, of course, which made it better, since Daenerys Targaryen was also shit at art. They spent the entire class in the back corner, making fun of the rest of the class and rehashing the general mid-week gossip. 

“Shut up!” Margaery gasped, tying her light brown hair up. “And you didn’t text us?”

The us she was referring to was the infamous ♡ _Westerhoes_ **♡** groupchat that consisted of herself, Dany, Sansa, Ygritte, and Talisa. For a short period of time, Ygritte added Loras, which proved to be a mistake since he spend his brief tenure as a westerhoe dragging the other group chat members and was swiftly removed by Dany. 

“It just happened like yesterday!” Dany whispered, excitedly. “I still can’t believe it!”

“I can’t believe you’re dating  _ Kahl fucking Drogo _ !”

“He’s really sweet, underneath the, you know, muscles and broody silences.” Dany shrugged, poking the slab of clay they were supposed to be making a bowl out of. 

“He also has a biker gang.” 

“Just because he and his friends all ride motorcycles,  _ does not mean _ he’s in a biker gang. Besides, he also works at the coffee shop.” Dany sighed. Margaery tried to imagine giant, tattooed Drogo taking your coffee order and adding whipped cream to caramel frappuccinos. “Anyways, Marge, how’s your repressed love life going?”

“Low blow, Daenerys.” Margaery grumbled. “I did finally tell Loras, though.”

“You hadn’t told him you liked Sansa? I thought you told your brother everything!”

“I like to keep some secrets.” She smirked, but accidentally stuck a thumb through her sad excuse for a bowl. “Besides, he still refuses to let me help him with Renly.”

Dany hummed sympathetically, and was about to open her mouth to speak again when the bell rang.

“I’ll talk to you later, Dany. I’ve gotta meet Sansa, we have to go shopping for Joffrey fucking Baratheon’s birthday.”

When the door opened, the roar of freed teenagers hit Margaery’s ears. As usual, freshman boys found it necessary to sprint down the hallways like their lives depended on it, the jocks (including her brother) had their lacrosse sticks out dangerously in the crowded hallway, and Theon Greyjoy had Robb Stark pinned against a locker with his tongue down his throat. 

Margaery powerwalked down the halls like a queen. Loras made fun of her sometimes for wearing heels to school, but the sound of clicking heels on linouleum was music to her ears, and she liked to imagine it struck fear into the hearts of mediocre men and women everywhere. 

When she reached her locker on the other side of the school, Sansa was already leaning against it. Her red hair was swept over her shoulder in a single braid, and her bright blue eyes caught Margaery’s from through the crowd of people. 

_ Damn _ .

“Get in loser, we’re going shopping.” Sansa said with a dramatic flip of her hair and a dazzling smile when Margaery had dropped her books off. 

“ _ Mean Girls? _ Really Sansa?” Margaery rolled her eyes but couldn’t stop the grin that lit up her face. “Next girls’ night we need to get you cultured on  _ real _ Iconic Teen Movies.”

“Hipster.” Sansa playfully shoved Margaery as they walked toward the door.

“I’m saving you, Sans.” Margaery grabbed her friend’s hand. “Honestly, you’d be lost without me. You’d probably still try and layer all your clothes like a Disney Channel protagonist.”

“Let it go, I was 13!” Sansa groaned, but there was no real malice in it, instead her face was lit up. “But do I have to bring up your emo phase? You tried to cut your own hair, if I remember correctly.”

It was the strangest thing, if you asked around school, they’d have the general consensus that Sansa stark was sweet, if quiet and sometimes distant. But there was such a bright spark in her that no one gave her the chance to see. People thought that Margaery was the driving force between the two of them, but they were wrong.

Sansa made her brighter.

*

**you don’t need a ride home, right?**

Loras checked his phone to see Margaery sent him a text half an hour ago. She’d assumed correctly that he didn’t need a ride, otherwise he’d have been stranded. 

**nah. out w/ Renly remember?** he quickly sent back.

**have fun make good choices ;) but make bad choices too ;) ;)**

Loras snorted and was about to reply with a grating “thanks mom”, when Renly threw an arm around his shoulders. 

“Someone’s popular.” Renly winked, but a small hint of jealousy crept into his words.

“Just Margaery, wanted to know if I needed a ride.” Loras shrugged, trying to hide the satisfaction of Reny’s jealous voice. 

After school had gotten out, Renly took Loras out for another mildly terrifying drive, this time Ke$ha was the music of choice, to the mall for Operation Piss Off Joffrey. 

“Why is it so fucking hard to get out of Sears?” Renly lamented, sifting through a rack of particularly horrible plaid vests. “I swear to god, I have nightmares about trying to find my way out of this hellscape.”

“I don’t know, Ren. We could get him fishing gear. Maybe that would increase the chances of the little bitch falling into a river and drifting out to sea.” Loras suggested.

“Tempting...but I don’t want him near anything pointy. Fish hooks are too risky.” 

Loras had to agree with him on that topic. Sears seemed to be designed with the subpar middle aged woman in mind, which Renly suggested would prove helpful for his sister-in-law’s birthday (whom he also hated). The pair managed to finally find their way out of Sears and into the rest of the mall. 

The day outside was warm, but the main hallway was over-air conditioned, and for once Loras was grateful for his douchey letterman jacket. Renly was all energy, he grabbed Loras’ hand and started on their quest for the perfect horrible present.

“Where should we start?” Renly asked, threading his fingers through Loras’.

“Uh,” Loras’ brain went blank, because Renly was running his thumb over Loras’ knuckles and Loras could have died right there. “Um.”

“We’ll just try everything!”  _ Oh jesus. _

By the time Renly inevitably dragged him into one of those horribly lit clothing stores that you could smell coming, their arms were weighed down with bags of bath bombs, obnoxious neon snapbacks, and other random items not meant for Joffrey.

“Ren, I think I’m going to pass out in here.” If Renly heard him, he made no indication.”Besides, nothing here is awful enough for Joffrey. Unless we get him a floral sundress.”

“I dunno, Loras. Maybe we should get you a floral sundress.” Renly winked at him. “You’d look cuter than you sister.”

Now it was Loras’ turn to be jealous. “So you think my sister’s cute?”

“That’s not what I meant, Loras.” Renly said, turning to flip through a rack of shirts. “Dogs are cute. Baby animals are cute. Margaery’s cute. Old people are sometimes cute if they aren’t evil homophobic racists and don’t smell like cats.”

“Your point is?” He huffed, starting to get annoyed. Loras watched the back of Renly’s infuriatingly unresponsive head. Was this seriously happening? The idea of Renly just using him to get close to his sister was heartbreaking, but more than making him sad, it pissed Loras off.

“My point is Loras, lot’s of things are objectively cute.” Renly still was pretending to be very invested in shirts, but the tips of his ears were turning pink. “You’re not one of those things.” 

“Well,  _ personally  _ I think I’m adorable-”

“Loras, you’re more than objectively cute.” Renly finally turned to face him, but clutched a shirt tightly in his hands. “You’re, I don’t know how to describe it. Radiant. Gorgeous. Brilliant. Whatever you want to call it. But there is so much more to you than cute.”

“Oh.” Was all Loras could say, his anger faded as quickly as it came and was replaced by the feeling that he had a thousand butterflies in his stomach. “Oh. I didn’t realize-”

“You never do, hothead. Now come on, we still have an awful present to buy. And I want a soft pretzel.”

*

“No he’ll hate this.” Sansa set down yet another option, this time it was an expensive bottle of cologne. Her voice was tinged with frustration.

“Sansa, it’s okay!” Margaery quickly rushed to Sansa’s side and grabbed her hand. “We’ve still got all day.”

“Yeah,” Sansa said, wiping her eyes with the sleeve of her light blue cardigan. “I just need to get him something he’ll like.”

“I’m sure he’ll like whatever you get him!” Margaery cooed, stroking Sansa’s hair. “He’ll be happy you thought of him.”

“Well, clearly you don’t know Joffrey.” She laughed darkly, which startled Margaery.

“Sansa, what do you mean?” But Sansa had gone back to browsing the rack of ties. “ _ Sansa! _ ”

“You don’t have to worry about me, Marge! He’s just...gets so many things. I need to make it special.”

“Well, if it’s from you, it should be special whatever it is. That’s generally what happens when you’re dating someone.” Sansa just shrugged and checked the tag of a pair of salmon pink shorts.

They shopped in silence for a little while longer, but the gears were turning in Margaery’s brain. After spending two hours trying to shop, Sansa seemed to be terrified of Joffrey’s opinion of whatever gift she’d pick out. Margaery was certain, at this point, that breaking up with Joffrey would finally bring back the old Sansa. She was also certain that if Sansa just broke up with Joffrey cold turkey, it wouldn’t work and that creep would still not leave her alone.

She would need some help on this one. More specifically, help from the Starks.

“Hey, Sansa- are we still doing girls’ night this weekend?” Margaery asked, silently forming a plan in her head.

“Yeah. Cuz I’m not invited to Joffrey’s fucking family party.” Sansa said bitterly, but quickly realized how she sounded. “Not that I don’t want girls night! Just, his family doesn’t like me. And I think it’s cuz I’m not good enough.”

“That’s bullshit, you know you’re amazing. He doesn’t deserve you, besides, his family is a bunch of dicks. You don’t really want to hang around them.”

“Not all of them,” Sansa said, miserably. “His uncle Tyrion is nice. And Renly.”

“Well you can see Renly any time, Sansa. Just come over to my house, he’ll probably be in Loras’ room.” Margaery wrapped Sansa in a tight hug, savoring the smell of cinnamon that seemed to follow Sansa everywhere. “He doesn’t deserve you. I’ll let you pick out the movies for girls night. We can even watch Mean Girls.”

“Thanks, Marge.” Sansa smiled, and the sun shone in Margaery’s world once again. “I think I’m going to get him the shorts and be done with it. I hate shopping for boys, let’s get Starbucks and go to real shopping.”

“Agreed.” Margaery said as they made their way to the front of the store, Sansa carrying the salmon pink shorts with tiny embroidered swordfish on them. 

“Is that your brother?” Sansa asked after they’d emerged from the shop. Margaery looked across to see a pair of obnoxious rainbow colored snapback hats, and one was tragically perched atop a head of blonde curls that could only belong to Loras Tyrell.

“What the fuck is he wearing?” Whatever it was, Renly had one that matched it. “Sansa we have to go before they-”

“Hey Margaery! Hey Sansa!”  _ Shit _ , too late, Renly had spotted them and was dragging Loras toward them. “What are you guys doing here?”

“Shopping for Joff’s birthday!” Sansa was strangely all smiles again, which was odd. The prospect of Starbucks and makeup shopping sounded nice, but not enough to swing that much of a mood. “What about you two?”

“Same thing, actually.” Renly grinned, and Loras stifled a giggle, Margaery seemed to recall their plan to buy Joffrey a horrible present, she wasn’t sure she wanted to know what that was if they thought those hats were a good idea. “What did you buy him?”

“Obnoxiously preppy shorts.” Sansa joked, indicating the white paper bag from King’s Warehouse. “They have swordfish on them.”

“Dear  _ lord _ ,” Loras muttered, as if he’d never been more offended by a clothing item in his life. “That is so Joffrey.”

“What did you guys get him?” Sansa asked, but the two boys just locked eyes and started snickering.

“Don’t worry about it.” Renly smiled innocently, causing Loras to laugh even harder. “Are you going to his party?”

Sansa’s face fell, but she quickly shrugged it off. 

“Nah. It’s a family thing, I guess. Besides, it’s his birthday, and if I went I’d just steal the spotlight.” She joked, and Margaery’s heart swelled.  _ That’s my girl _ . 

“Ooh, you’re lucky that you get out of this. I’ve spent 17 years trying to avoid Baratheon-Lannister family fun times. But it’s my  _ favorite _ nephew’s birthday, so I have to go, or Cercei will run me over with Robert’s jeep.” The dark haired boy said cheerfully.

“I told you girls’ night would be better.” Margaery playfully nudged Sansa’s shoulder. “Now come on, I need a frappuccino.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yay! chapter 3! this is the ~planned~ halfway mark, depending on how it goes i may add another chapter or two on at the end. in case you couldn't already tell, the chapters are named after the steps in Margaery's plan.   
> I hope you guys like reading this fic as much as i like writing it. as usual, let loose in the comments, tell me how you feel, say hi or yell at me to write faster on tumblr @hoebiwan  
> xoxo


	4. Ally with Wolf Pack

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sansa enlists the help of Sansa's siblings when over at the Starks' for girls night.  
> Loras hates zombie movies, but Renly loves them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone! Sorry it's been a while since I last updated! I was on vacation and didn't have my laptop, but this is my favorite chapter I've written so far so I hope it's worth the wait :)

Just as Margaery had hoped, girl’s night was hosted at the Starks’.

Not because she used any particular persuasion, Sansa always hosted girls’ night. It was just a fact that the Starks’ had the best sleepover house in all of Westeros, but with six kids, they had a fairly regulated sleepover schedule of who took the family room and who got the prime realty of the basement. 

Since last week Bran and Rickon had the Reed siblings over, Sansa, Margaery, Daenerys, Jeyne, and Ygritte sprawled across the various couches and beanbags of the Stark’s “Wolf Den” (Robb’s name for the basement) while early 2000s pop songs oozed from the speakers and wound around the room. 

Margaery reached across Sansa’s lap for the bowl of popcorn, listening to the easy chatter of her friends. According to the Notebook, she was on step three of the plan, which lined up very nicely with the girl’s night arrangement. Step three was to enlist the help of Sansa’s protective siblings. She got the feeling that none of them really liked Joffrey in the first place, so it would be easy to rope them into helping her get rid of him. 

She just needed a chance to sneak upstairs and talk to the Stark siblings without Sansa around to hear, and it looked like she was nearing her chance. The girls were gathered around Dany’s phone, and they were in the process of Instagram stalking Mellisandre, the senior girl they loved to hate.

“I’m going to refill on my Sprite. Anyone else need anything?” Margaery seized her chance and stood up, taking her empty glass with her.

“More popcorn.” Ygritte suggested. Margaery grabbed the empty bowl and quickly retreated up the stairs before anyone could offer to help her. 

The staircase emerged right into the kitchen, and luckily the two oldest Starks were already there, trying to make pancakes. 

Margaery sidled up next to them, silently, and grabbed a few bags of popcorn from the cabinet. They hadn’t noticed her yet, since Jon accidentally dropped the cookbook on the pan and it promptly lit on fire. 

“Jon your only job was to  _ hold the cookbook _ !” Robb glared at him as he rushed to the sink. Apparently, no one shut off the stove, because when Robb poured a glass of water on the stove, it made a terrifying sizzling sound. “Oh  _ fuck _ .”

Neither boy knew exactly what to do, so Margaery quickly reached over and shut off the stove. They both froze for a moment, wide eyes watching as the flame fizzled out under the remaining water. 

“I take it you guys don’t cook often.”

“If I was cooking this wouldn’t happen.” Jon muttered under his breath. “But  _ no _ , I just had to hold the cookbook.”

“And you dropped it on the stove.” His brother reminded him. “Anyways, thanks Margaery. How’s girls night going?”

“Oh, the usual. I was sent up for more popcorn.” She said, gesturing to the microwave. “I think we’re going to watch  _ Moulin Rouge _ at some point.”

“Oh that is so not fair.” Jon whined. “I fucking love that movie.”

“He’s just bitter that he’s not allowed to hang out with Ygritte.”

“I don’t make the rules!” She grinned. “Well, actually I do. But I don’t change the rules. You can see your girlfriend any other time, Jon. But no boys allowed.”

“Didn’t Loras go once?”

“That’s why we don’t have Girls’ Night at my house anymore. Loras is stronger than me. Or any of the doors. And he really loves  _ Gossip Girl _ .” Margaery said. “Anyways, I really came up here because I need a favor from you guys.”

Okay, maybe not the best choice of words, since both boys looked highly suspicious.

“Loras has warned me about your schemes.” Jon surveyed her, crossing his arms and leaning against the counter. 

“Well, rumor has it you were the one who got Ramsay Bolton kicked out. That’s a cause I support. Let’s hear this one out.”

She was tempted to add that she’d been pulling the strings to get them together with their respective girlfriend and boyfriend, but she refrained. A magician never reveals her secrets.

“I think you’ll be on my side with this plan, but I need your help. And Arya’s.” Margaery took a deep breath. “It’s about Sansa.”

As she expected, the reaction was immediate.

“What do you want with my baby sister?” Jon demanded, glaring at her. Robb was busy coming up with a long string of threats to whoever wanted to hurt Sansa.

“She’s my best friend, boys.” Margaery rolled her eyes. “Why the fuck would I want to hurt her?”

“She makes a very good point.” Jon said, nudging his brother. “So what is it?”

“We need to get her to dump Joffrey.”

“Well, shit, Tyrell. Why didn’t you tell us sooner?” Robb looked up, his eyes shining. “We’re so in.”

*

Loras fucking hated zombie movies, but unfortunately, Brienne and Renly outnumbered him, so he grudgingly followed the two of them into the dark cinema.

“I wanted to see  _ Deadpool _ .” Loras grumbled, taking a seat next to Renly and setting his popcorn down on the armrest. “How is this movie different than the last zombie movie we saw?”

“ _ Because _ , Loras, this time the zombies can swim.” Loras rolled his eyes. Whether or not the zombies could actually swim or not didn’t matter, his biggest complaint last time was that no one just got on a fucking boat, but he was sure to find some plot hole to complain about this time.

Brienne sat on the other side of Renly, and Loras’ eyebrows furrowed in annoyance. The tall girl was in Renly’s class, and had starting hanging out with them last year. That wasn’t the problem. The problem was Loras was pretty sure she had a crush on Renly.

No one was allowed to have a crush on Renly except Loras.

Luckily, Brienne was shy and Renly was oblivious. And Loras was still Renly’s closest friend. But moments like this, as the lights dimmed and the sound of dramatic music and moaning zombies filled the theatre, when Brienne and Renly were whispering excitedly, heads close together...

Loras drummed his fingers on the armrest angrily. He tried to focus on the movie, but it was hard. It started out just like every single other zombie movie Renly dragged him to. He reached into the bag of popcorn and his fingers grazed Renly’s, which gave him an idea. The movie had reached a tense scene, the dramatic string music mounting over accelerating drums as the hero walked through an empty hospital, axe in hand. Loras waited until the hero was about to turn the corner and grabbed Renly’s hand as soon as the zombie appeared.

He heard Renly gasp softly, and he knew it wasn’t because of the movie. Loras smirked, but pretended to be frightened by the predictable zombie plot. The next time a disgusting CGI creature started gnawing on someone’s arm, Loras gasped and half jumped onto Renly’s lap. The older boy wrapped an arm around him protectively.

“It’s just a movie, Lor.” Renly whispered, breath hot on his ear. Loras dropped his head onto Renly’s shoulder and rested his hand on the dark haired boy’s knee. 

“This is why I hate zombie movies.” Loras whispered, unconvincingly. He watched the light of the screen bounce of Renly’s dark eyes. Just as Loras had hoped, Renly took their close proximity as an invitation to play with his blonde curls.

“I’ll protect you babe.” Renly said, dreamily.  _ God _ , Loras thought.  _ He’s such a dork, an adorable, sexy dork _ , but he just hummed and leaned into Renly’s touch. 

“Thanks, Ren.” Loras struggled against the armrest to press as far into Renly’s arms as possible and pretended to turn his attention back to the zombie movie. 

Like Renly promised, the zombies could swim.

*

 

“What took you so goddamn long?” Ygritte asked from her beanbag lair and reached a greedy hand out for the popcorn bowl.

“Jon and Robb started a fire.” She shrugged and set the other bowl of popcorn down on the middle table. Jeyne and Sansa were huddled over the redheaded Stark’s phone, arguing over music. 

“I can’t trust that idiot on his own for one night, can I?” Ygritte sighed and flicked a strand of hair out of her face. “I’m sure you handled it.”

“Of course, if Winterfell burned down we’d have to go back to girls’ night at my house.”

Dany flinched. “Remember that time Olenna overheard us playing “never have I ever” and said we were all losers?”

“One of the many reasons why I barely host anything anymore.”

“Oh, I don’t know. I like it when Loras hangs out with us.” Jeyne piped up, having apparently lost the music debate.

“He’s gay, Jeyne.” Margaery reminded her, gently, as she often had to. Jeyne flushed and was just about to open her mouth to speak again when the music returned at full volume.

“Dance party, bitches!” Sansa shouted over the upbeat rhythm and vocals pounding from the stereo. She reached over and grabbed Margaery’s hands, pulling her off the couch and into the middle of the floor. Laughing, the rest of the girls followed suit and started enthusiastically jumping to the beat of the old pop song, but Sansa still hadn’t let go of Margaery’s hands.

The songs melted together into the night of dancing and gossipping and snacking, and eventually each of the girls drifted off, leaving Sansa and Margaery the last ones up as the speakers slid into a soft, slow song. Margaery was just about to suggest they get some sleep when Sansa wrapped her arms around the shorter girl’s waist and pulled Margaery close, swaying to the beat.

Margaery’s heart was pounding in her chest, but she rested her arms on Sansa’s slight shoulders, listening as Sansa sleepily sang along to the One Direction song. 

Holy shit, this girl was going to be the death of her.

*

Loras was never so disappointed to leave a zombie movie. The cool night air caused goosebumps to race up and down his arms, and he found himself wishing he’d listened to Brienne and brought a jacket.

“So, cynic.” Renly came up from behind him and slung an arm over Loras’ shoulders. “What did you think of this one?”

Loras just snorted in response.

“The zombies could swim this time, so you can’t use boats as an excuse.” Brienne playfully punched him in the shoulder. “What have you got for us this time, Tyrell?”

“Well,” He thought for a moment before deciding on the glaring answer. “It’s physically impossible for zombies to be able to swim with the decomposing muscle tissue and joints. Shambling is one thing but it’s much more complex to swim. My theory still stands.”

Brienne rolled her eyes, but there was a fondness in her exasperation. 

“I guess that’s fine. I thought you were going to suggest space, then we’d never get you to shut up.” She shrugged.

“You need a lift home, Bri?” Renly asked, but Brienne shook her head and held up a set of keys.

“Got a new car for my birthday since I could fix it up.” She said. “I assume both of you have rides?”

“Yeah, alright, see you at school!” The boys waved at Brienne as they parted ways in the parking lot. “I really don’t feel like going home yet, you?”

Loras shook his head, and Renly grabbed his hand and led him to his precious green car.

“Come on, we’re going on an adventure.”

The ride was fraught with the usual perils of driving with Renly, but instead of turning onto the road that would take them back to Loras’ house, he took a side street that led them out of town, but refused to tell Loras where they were going. Instead of his usual  _ Renly’s Car Jamz _ playlist, the music was a sleepy, sad indie song, and Renly wore a matching smile on his face.

“Are you going to take me to an abandoned lot and murder me?”

“Patience, Loras.”

As it turned out, there was no abandoned lot in sight. When Loras stepped out of the car, he realized they’d driven to the coast, but not the town beach or any of the secret coves the Blackwater kids were used to exploring. It was a grassy cliff that overlooked a rocky shore that met the ocean with crashing waves.

“Are you going to push me off the cliff and kill me?” Loras finally found the voice to ask, after taking in the reflection of the sky and the faint lights of the city on the water and the smell of the sea.

“Nah, you’d give me quite a fight.” Renly laughed, but there was a slight nervousness in his voice. “This is just my favorite place to come and think sometimes. I wanted to show it to you.”

“It’s beautiful.” Loras flushed. He wasn’t sure what Renly was doing, but his own heart was pounding wildly in his chest. If things were looking grim, he could always dive off the cliff and swim to Dorne. “I’ve never been here before.”

“It’s my secret place. Or it was.” Renly looked over at him, the faint light of the headlights dancing in his eyes. “But not anymore, I guess if you can keep a secret, it can be ours.”

“No secrets between best friends.” Loras repeated what had been their motto since fifth grade. But as he watched the wind ruffle Renly’s hair, the lie tasted stale in his mouth.

“Yeah,” Renly said, but it sounded sad. “No secrets.”

They were quiet for a moment, watching the waves, before Loras steadied himself and decided to take a leap for once and placed his hand in Renly’s. One small movement, but he could hear Renly’s sharp intake of breath. He was about to pull his hand away when Renly pulled it back.

“Ren-”

“You’re my best friend, you know that right?” He blurted out, and Loras’ heart sunk. This was it, when Renly told him that he knew Loras was in love with him and didn’t feel the same and broke his heart. 

“I know.” Loras said quietly, staring determinedly at the waves below. Renly was not going to see him cry.

“And you know how we said that we have no secrets?”

“Yeah?”

“I need to tell you a secret. And I really hope that I’m not making a huge mistake, because I don’t want anything between us to change-” Renly stammered, his usual carefree disposition entirely gone for the moment.

“Well,” Loras asked nervously. “What is it?”

“Loras, I’m in love with you.” Renly said quickly. “And I understand if you don’t feel the same or if I was misreading anything, then we can just go back to how we’ve always been. But, I don’t want to keep this secret anymore, Loras.  _ Loras _ , why the fuck are you looking at me like that?”

Loras quickly shut his mouth from where it had been hanging open, but he couldn’t stop his head from reeling. This wasn’t happening. This was  _ way too good _ to be happening.

“Are you serious? Really?” He asked, his heart pounding. “I don’t want this to be a joke. I don’t think I could take it if this was a joke.”

“You mean you also-” Renly’s eyes lit up.

“I’ve been in love with you for the past three years, took you long enough.” Loras said, but his words couldn’t keep the idiotic grin from crossing his face. Renly opened his mouth to speak again, but Loras was done waiting. He wrapped his arms around Renly’s neck and closed the distance between them.

After years of dreaming of this moment, the inner cynic in Loras was disappointed to find that there was nothing about this kiss that he could find fault with. Renly’s lips were soft against his own and he could feel Renly smiling into the kiss. Renly’s strong arms held his waist and lifted him slightly off the ground. Loras always thought Renly’s kiss would taste like cinnamon, since he always smelled like it, but it was more like mint, and instead of seeing fireworks, all he saw was reality, which was, in his opinion, even fucking better.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> YAS FINALLY RENLORAS GOT TOGETHER now the real fun begins. As usual, if you liked something/didn't like something/wanna talk about your feelings feel free to comment! And come say hi on tumblr @hoedor, give me ideas or suggestions and yell at me to write.  
> xoxo


	5. Cause some sort of public scandal

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Joffrey's birthday finally arrives, and both twins have plans to ruin it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone! Sorry this took FOREVER to get done. My life's been super busy lately with school and sports and writers block, but now things are starting to calm down for the end of the year so yay! New chapter! The end feels a little rushed so I'm super sorry about that but all and all I think this is a fun chapter. Enjoy!

“ _ Boyfriend? _ ”

“Boyfriend.” Loras affirmed, watching Margaery’s shocked expression over her cereal.

“And you didn’t tell me until now?”

“You were out! And besides, I wanted to see the look on your face.” Loras said smugly. Margaery had wandered home early that afternoon from the Starks in her pajamas and usually pristine hair in a lopsided bun, she’d barely walked through the door when Loras intercepted her to relate to her all the events of the previous night.

“I’ll admit, Loras, I’m a little jealous you didn’t even need my help. I might have matchmaking competition.”

“Maybe I can help you out with Sansa.” He smirked. “How’d last night go, by the way?”

“We  _ slow danced _ to  _ One Direction _ .” Margaery groaned, hiding her face in her hands. “And we fucking  _ cuddled _ . I swear to god I thought I was about to die.”

“Marg, she is  _ so  _ into you!”

“Thanks for your input, ladykiller, but you don’t know the first thing about girls.” She sighed. “I can straight up tell Sansa she’s the most stunning person I’ve ever seen, and she’d reply  _ thanks Margy you’re such a great friend! _ ”

“Holy shit, that’s torture.” Loras said, now that Margaery was bringing it up, boys seemed so much easier.

“Like I feel like I have to clarify, I don’t mean  _ I love you _ in the besties way. I mean it in the gay way.” She sighed so sadly and Loras felt the need to awkwardly pat her on the back.

“Once Joffrey is out of the way, you’re home free.” He said, reassuringly. “I bet she’s just confused, but I know she likes you.”

“Thanks.” She sniffed and smiled at him softly. “But you’ve got more pressing issues right now. When’s your boyfriend picking you up?”

“Ah,” He checked his phone, pretending not to flush when he heard her refer to Renly as his  _ boyfriend _ . “Half an hour.”

“And you’re not even dressed yet?” She gasped and stood up abruptly, her chair making a loud noise as it was dragged across the floor. “Oh my god, you have to look nice! This isn’t just going out to lunch you’re meeting the  _ Lannisters and Baratheons _ .”

“So? It’s not like I’ve never met them before.” He shrugged, but Margaery was having none of it. 

“ _ So _ ,” She said, dragging him out of the kitchen and up the stairs to his room. “This time you’ll be going as his boyfriend. You’ve got to make an impression!”

Loras stood in the middle of his room as Margaery dug through his closet, throwing occasional pieces of clothing at him.

“Nothing too fancy.” He warned her, dodging a tie. “Renly said it wasn’t fancy.”

“Renly also dresses nicely on a daily basis. Do you really want to risk being underdressed when you have dinner with Cercei?”

“Valid.” Loras shuddered, a clear memory of the disastrous Christmas dinner he’d had at the Baratheon-Lannister household. 

Eventually, they managed to agree on a deceptively well thought out casual outfit that wouldn’t cause Renly’s sister-in-law to throw a glass of wine at him. He was in the process of trying to subdue his curls when the doorbell rang and he froze.

“Hey Renly!” Apparently Margaery had already gotten the door, and he could hear Renly’s deep voiced reply.

Giving up on the brush, he quickly glanced in the mirror for a once over, and darted down the stairs. As he’d expected, Margaery had invited Renly in and was interrogating him like she hadn’t known him for years.

“Oh my god, Ren. I apologize for my sister.” Loras said, utterly mortified when he walked in to hear her asking him what his plans for college were. Renly’s face lit up as soon as they locked eyes, which was a good sign that his sister hadn’t scared him off. “Margaery, you’re not the dad in a teenage romcom. Go away.”

“He was just telling me that he got a 33 on his ACTs!” Margaery said, cheerily, with her trademark smirk. 

“Jesus christ, Marg.” He groaned, motioning for her to leave. Luckily she took that cue and disappeared into the kitchen with a wink thrown in his direction.

“It’s alright, babe.” Renly stood up and walked over to Loras from the couch where he was sitting. “Are you ready to go?”

“As ready as I’ll ever be.” He answered honestly, taking Renly’s hand and smiling nervously. “What if they hate me? What if they want us to break up?”

“Who gives a flying fuck?” Renly brought their clasped hands to his lips and pressed a gentle kiss to the back of Loras’ hand. “If they hate you, it’s because they’re mostly terrible people who hate everyone. If they want us to break up,  _ good fucking luck _ . I just got you, Loras. I’m not letting you go so easily.”

“That’s gay.” Loras said, trying to cover his blushing face.

“Loras, you’re gay.” 

“You make a compelling point.” He leaned up to kiss Renly’s cheek softly. “Now come on, let’s go piss of your nephew.”

*

Margaery watched from her window as her brother and Renly walked to his car, hand in hand and laughing. Renly made a big show of opening the door for Loras, and Loras shoved him playfully, but pulled him in for a kiss anyways.

It’s not that she wasn’t happy for her twin. Of course she was happy that Renly and Loras had stopped dancing around each other like they had been for the past few years, and she was happy that he was happy. 

She just wished that it could be that simple with Sansa.

The last night felt like a dream. A beautiful interlude where she and Sansa could laugh and dance and she could braid her gorgeous red hair and no one mentioned Joffrey fucking Baratheon. But the spell was broken the next morning when Sansa had woken up to a text from Joffrey reminding her that she wasn’t allowed to attend his birthday party because he didn’t want her humiliating him around her family.

_ “Forget about him, Sansa!” She had consoled her friend. “You’re too good for him, by far.” _

_ “No I’m not.” She’d sniveled. “He’s Joffrey Baratheon, and I’m just-” _

_ “Sansa Stark. The most incredible girl I’ve ever met. Smart. Brilliant. Beautiful. Kind. What does Joffrey have on that?” _

Margaery’s phone buzzed, pulling her out of her memory. She glanced down at her phone and was surprised to see that it was a text from Robb Stark. 

_ Arya is in _ . The text read.  _ Meet us at the Wall in 30 mins. We have a plan. _

She frowned but replied  _ Okay! _ Usually she was the plan master, but she figured that she would let the other Starks help her out with this one. After all, she was their sister.

She readied into action, if she were going to go out in public she couldn’t be seen with a frizzy halo of brown hair and smudged eyeliner. Loras sent her a few snapchats of Renly singing and dancing along to a Beyonce song, which was probably not the safest for driving.

Margaery finished brushing out her hair and threw it up into a ponytail before grabbing her keys and rushing downstairs, ready to plot Joffrey’s downfall with her brother’s friends.

“And where are you off to?”

Olenna Tyrell cut a terrifying figure at 4’10” in the kitchen doorway. Loras was often scared of their grandmother, and when their older brothers came home from college, they were downright terrified of her. Not Margaery, though. 

“Coffee with a friend.” Margaery said, nonchalantly. She knew that if Olenna wanted to talk, she’d never make it to the Wall on time.

“The Stark girl?” The old woman chuckled. “I hope you’ll finally stop calling her your  _ friend _ . Your brother’s already gotten his prince charming.”

“You knew already?”

“Of course I knew. He came in at some ungodly hour last night kissing that Baratheon boy.” She said distastefully, moving from the doorway to pour herself a cup of tea. “He was surprised that I was awake, but I can’t say I was surprised to see him. Stubborn lot, the Baratheons, but from what I’ve seen, this one is nice enough.”

“No Baratheon can be more stubborn than our Loras. I doubt your approval will matter much to him, grandmother. He adores Renly.” Margaery smiled softly. “I’ve really got to get going, I’m meeting Robb Stark at the Wall in a few.”

“A  _ boy _ ? But I thought-”

“I’m still a lesbian, grandmother.” She sighed, exasperatedly. “Sometimes I really do just mean  _ a friend _ . Really, you expect that I’m always seducing someone.”

“Well my good genes had to go  _ somewhere _ .” Olenna said gently, taking a long sip of her tea. “Now go on then. Enjoy your strictly platonic outing.”

“Thanks grandmother.”

It was a quick drive to the center of town from her house, but by the time she’d found a parking space and walked into the small coffee shop, Robb, Theon, Jon, and Arya had already claimed a table in the corner. Jon had apparently just gotten off his shift, because he was still wearing a flour-dusted black apron with his nametag on it. 

She waved a quick hello at the Starks-plus-Greyjoy but first headed to the counter to order an earl grey latte. Sure as Dany said, her terrifying, muscular boyfriend Drogo was behind the counter and actually made surprisingly great lattes.

“So,” She said, taking a seat next to Jon. “You’re in on it too, Theon?”

“No one treats any Starks like shit while I’m around.” He replied, putting an arm around Robb, who leaned into the touch and smiled.

“You two are gross.” Jon said and threw a pen cap at his brother’s face. “Can we get back to the plotting, please?”

“I have a brilliant plan!” Robb lit up and began to explain, but not before kissing Theon to further annoy his brother.

*

“Hey, I have a question.” Loras asked as they stood on the sidewalk outside the imposing Lannister-Baratheon mansion. 

“Yeah?”

“Am I your boyfriend?” 

“Of course you are.” Renly said, confused, a look of concern in his dark eyes. “Why?”

“No, I mean, like. Today. In front of your family. Am I a secret?” He explained.

“Ah,” Renly said, finally understanding. “I guess we’ll see how it goes. Joffrey is a homophobic little shit but at the same time fuck whatever he thinks. Now, are you ready to see my horrible family?” Renly asked, taking Loras’ hand as they walked up to the doorstep.

“They aren’t all so bad. Stannis can be okay sometimes. And I don’t think Coach Jamie hates me as much as he says he does.”

“He’s just jealous you’re a better lacrosse player now than he was at your age. Plus the kids will be there. We can always listen to Tommen talk about his cats if all else is going to hell.” Renly set the red wrapped present on the ground and tangled his free hand into Loras’ hair. “And if all really goes to hell, then we can still make a break for it. Anytime you want to get the hell out of here, that’s okay with me.”

“Are you scared, Ren?” Loras smirked, leaning in close to his boyfriend. “You sure you don’t want to chicken out?”

“What? No.” Renly laughed nervously. “I’m just...concerned for your sake. I have to protect you from evil.”

“My knight in shining armor.” Loras said, deadpan, but leaned up to kiss Renly nonetheless. Renly smiled into the kiss and wrapped him arms around Loras, lifting him off his feet.

They were interrupted by the door opening and the sound of someone clearing their their throat. Renly broke away quickly and turned to smile guiltily at the person standing behind Loras.

_ Please be Stannis _ . He thought, as he turned around.  _ Please, please be Stannis. _

It wasn’t stannis.

A blonde woman was standing with arms crossed in the doorway, a disapproving frown crossing her lips.

“Hello, Cercei.” Renly said, cautiously. “We didn’t knock yet-”

“Well neither did I. Did you really bring an escort to my son’s birthday dinner?”

“ _ Escort? _ ” Loras bristled.

“Cercei, this is Loras Tyrell, you’ve met before.” Renly covered, shooting his boyfriend a warning glance. “He’s my boyfriend.”

“Oh sweet lord.” Cercei muttered, but stepped out of their way. “We all knew about your  _ lifestyle _ but-”

“Uncle Renly!” She was interrupted by two blonde children, pushing past her to jump on Renly. A shy girl watched from behind a bannister inside. Tommen and Myrcella, Robert’s children, and  he took it as Shireen, Stannis’ daughter.

“Hey! My favorite nieces and nephew!” Renly laughed, relieved that he didn’t have to listen to Cercei anymore. “Come on out Shireen, you don’t need to be shy.”

Shireen stepped out of the shadows, revealing the half of her face covered in burn scars. Loras had never met Shireen before, she spent most of the holidays with her mother, according to Renly. 

“Who are you?” She asked quietly, looking up at Loras. Before Loras could open his mouth to reply, Renly answered.

“This is my boyfriend, Loras.” The information elicits a gasp from all three children, and a furious Cercei stalking away. Loras’ heart dropped in his chest, terrified that these kids would start hating Renly now.

“You have a boyfriend, Uncle Renly?” Shireen asked, eyes lit up. “Does that mean we should call him Uncle Loras?”

“Well, maybe not yet.” Renly winked at Loras, who blushed.

“That’s so romantic!” Myrcella squealed, her blonde curls bouncing as she ran up to tug at Loras’ sleeve. “When did you guys meet? Do you kiss him? Does he bring you flowers?”

Tommen, who adored Loras (whenever Renly babysat the younger Baratheons he and Tommen would play knights and Loras would make up stories about dragons) had so far stayed silent. Loras worried that being the youngest, he’d grown up with the strict eye of Cercei and the horrible temper of Joffrey.

“Boys have less cooties than girls.” Tommen finally said, still pensive. “But kissing is still cooties. But Loras likes knights. Will you come over whenever Uncle Renly does?”

Loras’ face split into a grin. “Of course I will.”

“ _ Renly _ !” A booming voice echoed from within the house and Renly sighed, taking that as their cue to brave the adults.

“That was the easy part.” Renly whispered into Loras’ ear as they walked through the hallway hung with ugly pictures of Joffrey Baratheon through his ugly childhood leading into his ugly adolescence. The voices in the kitchen grew louder as they drew nearer, and, suddenly nervous, Loras grabbed Renly’s hand.

As soon as they’d stepped into sight, Renly’s oldest brother Robert pulled him into a hug, Loras just stood awkwardly to the side, scanning the room. Cercei and Joffrey were there, of course, and Cercei’s brothers Jamie and Tyrion (who’d inherited the nice genes) and her father (who hadn’t). 

Robert had stopped suffocating Renly, and the two had started engaging in pleasant small talk, but Loras could hear the sarcasm in Renly’s words. 

“Tyrell, right?” Loras looked over, surprised to see the Tyrion Lannister approaching him, glass of wine in hand. “Which one. Willas?”

“Loras.” He corrected, slightly annoyed. “I’m in your English class, Mr. Lannister.”

“Ah yes. Hard to keep track of you Tyrells, but not as hard as the Starks. Every time I turn around it seems there are more of them.” He took a long sip of his wine, and looked between Loras and Renly, who was caught up in talking to his brothers. “Now, what brings the youngest Tyrell to Joffrey’s party? Joffrey wouldn’t even let his Stark girlfriend come.”

“Well, not all Baratheons are dicks like your nephew.” He said, looking over at Renly and trying to calculate his escape. “And mine happens to be the-”

“ _ Yours? _ My my, Tyrell. Someone’s rather bold.” Tyrion chuckled and Loras flushed.

“That’s not what I- I meant my  _ friend _ . My  _ friend _ Renly is the only decent member of this-”

“I’m sure I know what you mean.” Tyrion said with a wink. “However, I believe that our friend Robert is about to have some difficulty understanding. Why don’t you go catch up with  _ your _ Renly. I assume I’ll see you when the next brawl breaks out.”

Tyrion raised his glass in farewell to Loras, leaving Loras grumpy and slightly confused. He spotted Renly duck into the kitchen and followed suit, dodging Lannisters the whole way.

“Hey babe.” Renly gave him a bright smile. “Chatting up Mr. Lannister?”

“He pretended not to know who I was. How are your brothers?”

“Oh the usual. Robert is getting on me about getting a girlfriend. Stannis knows I’m gay, but he’s still getting on me about getting a girlfriend just so it will get Robert more upset about it. Then both of them start telling me I’m going to be alone and unfulfilled.”

“Jesus.” Loras grumbled. “I always knew they were dicks but why can’t they leave you alone?”

“They’ve always been like that.” Renly shrugged. “I’m half tempted to teach them a lesson, finally get them off my case.”

Loras grinned and leaned in to press a soft kiss to Renly’s mouth and whispered in his ear.

“I think I have an idea.”

The pair emerged from the kitchen a time later, Renly with a few buttons of his shirt open and Loras with his golden curls in disarray. Robert opened his mouth and was just about to say something when Renly grabbed Loras around the waist and pulled him into a deep kiss.

You could hear a pin drop in the room. When they finally pulled apart, Renly whispered  _ that should show them _ against Loras’ lips.

“ _ Mother! _ ”

Well shit. They probably should have thought this through, because the shocked expression on Robert Baratheon’s face? Priceless. The murderous rage on Joffrey’s face? Less so. 

“You’re ruining my party!” The little brat hissed and stormed over to the two of them. “What makes you think you can  _ barge in here _ with your... your... _ lifestyle-” _

“Lifestyle? Tell me, do you copy all your insults from Cercei? Or was she a decent person before she bought pure evil into the world?” 

“I will  _ fucking _ end you, uncle.” Joffrey spat, and Loras admired Renly’s ability to stay calm and sarcastic while every nerve in Loras’ body was screaming at him to punch the freshman in the face. 

“Oh, I’m terrified.”

“I will! You worthless fucking f-”

Before he could finish his sentence, Loras could no longer control his instincts and sent a fist flying into Joffrey’s face.

In an instant, Joffrey had dropped to the ground, dramatically clutching at his face, screaming. Cercei and Tywin were also screaming, more at Loras and Renly. Robert was completely shell shocked, the first bombshell of his brother being gay probably was overshadowing the Joffrey thing for the moment, Jamie Lannister looked mildly concerned and majorly embarrassed, Myrcella was smiling, and Tyrion caught Loras’ eye and raised his glass in his direction.

“Okay, we’re getting out of here.” Renly laughed and grabbed Loras’ hand in the chaos as they dodged shocked relatives and fled for the door. They had made it halfway down the hallway when Stannis intercepted them just as Joffrey rounded the corner.

“What are you doing?” Stannis hissed, but before either could answer, the front door swung open and the party was thrown into more chaos than either of them could have planned.

It was well known that the Starks and the Lannisters did not get along. At all. But there in the doorway stood an assorted company of the most volatile of the Stark children, Robb, Jon, Arya, and Sansa (who looked sick to her stomach), plus Theon Greyjoy and... _ his sister _ ?

“Oh no.” Loras muttered, but smiled all the same.

“I think our invitation got lost in the mail.” Robb Stark said, grinning deviously. “Now, where’s the goddamn cake?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, the plan is one more chapter after this, but I'm considering adding an epilogue. Anyways, as usual hit me up on tumblr @hoedor, tell me what you liked or what you didn't like etc. xoxo


	6. Inform Lady

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Somehow, Sansa doesn't think crashing Joffrey's party is as fun as the rest of them do. But to be fair, it's still pretty fun.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone! Sorry this has taken a while, writers block ya know. Anyways, this is the concluding chapter of the fic, but there's going to be an epilogue after this!

You can only kick people out if they respect you, fear you, or have any common sense.

And between Renly and Robb, who instantly came to the conclusion to join forces in making the Lannisters and Baratheons miserable, common sense was not in high supply at the moment. 

Margaery was greeted at the door by her brother, who was wearing the same grin he wore every time he did something completely stupid. 

“About time you showed up, I thought this party couldn’t get any more exciting.” Loras said and grabbed her arm.

“About that,” She said, as quietly as she could over the noise of what sounded like Cersei and Robert screaming at each other in the kitchen. “What happened?”

“I, uh, well I punched Joffrey.” 

“ _ What _ ? that was supposed to be my job!” Robb whined, Jon protested that it was  _ his _ job, and so did Arya, but before any of the Starks could claim ownership of the first punch Joffrey rounded the corner holding an ice pack to his face.

“ _ You _ .” He hissed, face turning the splotchy red of a margherita pizza. It was impossible in that minute to know which “you” he was referring to, but the whole offending party stood with their backs to the door, trying to decide whether to turn around and run or push onward. But the person his eyes-or rather eye-sought out was Sansa, who had been quietly standing in the back, utterly mortified.

“Joffrey I am so sorry I didn’t know-” She started, voice wavering.

“I told you specifically you. Couldn’t. Come.” The blonde advanced on her and Robb and Jon moved in front of her to block him off. Margaery froze, suddenly feeling very out of her depth. She’d never meant for Sansa to be in any immediate danger, and even if this particular event wasn’t her plan, it was her actions that had put Sansa in this situation in the first place.

“I didn’t! I wasn’t going to!” She spat back.

“That’s  _ not the point _ . You disobeyed me, you got your dyke friend, her homo brother, and your disgusting, lowbrow family to  _ ruin my party _ .” Joffrey stomped his foot for emphasis with this particularly vile comment, Margaery saw red and was about to lunge for his throat, and she could see Renly taking a predatory step toward his nephew, but before the entire group could descend on Joffrey, Sansa stepped out from behind her brothers, a cold fury in her blue eyes.

“That’s quite enough, Joffrey.” She said quietly, but her words cast an icy silence over the room. 

“Sansa-”

“No. I said that’s enough.” She pushed forward past Robb, who tried to hold her back. “I can’t do this anymore, Joff.”

“What are you talking about?” He laughed nervously, but glanced around, probably looking for his mother. 

“You can’t talk to my family like that, and you can talk to my friends like that. And you know what, I don’t think you can talk to  _ me _ like that either.”

“ _ Ooh damn _ .” Margaery heard Renly say, but he was quickly elbowed by his boyfriend and silenced.

“Sansa.” Joffrey said. “I think you should really think long and hard about what you say next. You will regret it.”

“I don’t think so.” Sansa said, her voice shook, but there was a certain fierceness behind it. “I’m done, Joffrey. I don’t deserve to be treated like  _ shit _ by a little  _ twat  _ like you.”

“You fucking  _ bitch _ , I’ll-” 

“What? Call your mother? Go ahead, Joffrey. I don’t care anymore.” She said and turned on her heel and took Margaery’s arm. “Let’s go, please.”

“That’s right, leave you dumb whore.” Joffrey stuttered out, trying to feel like he had the last laugh, but with that comment, Robb grabbed Joffrey by the front of his shirt and roughly lifted him off the ground.

“Is there still cake at the party?” Robb asked and Joffrey whimpered a reply. “Then I think we’ll stick around. Margaery, can you drive Sans home?”

“Of course,” She said quickly. “Come on, Sansa.”

The girls turned and walked briskly down the hallway and through the open door, but through the entire drive, Sansa was silent. 

“Was it your idea?” Sansa asked finally as they pulled into the Stark’s driveway. “Showing up today?”

“It was Robb’s idea.” She blurted out, but felt an immediate stab of guilt. “But, I did have a plan to break up you and Joffrey.”

“Why?” Sansa asked plainly.

“Joffrey’s a royal prick, he’s a monster and you deserve better than that. You deserve someone who won’t treat you like shit, you deserve-”

“You?” 

Margaery’s heart plummeted. This was not how her plan was supposed to work. She was supposed to give Sansa time after the break up, but swoop in heroically and sweep her off her feet. She thought she’d ask her to the Spring Formal dance in another elaborate plan, but it all collapsed under her feet with one word.

Her only thought was  _ was I really that obvious _ ?

“Sansa, you’re my best friend. I’m not trying to pressure you into anything, I don’t want you thinking that you  _ owe me _ this, I did it for you. As your friend.”

Sansa was quiet for a moment and wiped her eyes, Margaery readied herself for the worst when Sansa finally spoke.

“I know. I don’t think I owe you, but,” She took a deep breath, steadying herself and tightening her grip on her pink bag. “I want to. If that makes sense?”

“I’m afraid I’m not following you.” Margaery muttered weakly, white knuckles gripping the steering wheel. 

“I guess, I don’t want to  _ owe _ you. I want to deserve you. I just, want you.”

“Sansa, are you sure you know what you’re saying?” Margaery’s heart was pounding in her chest now, unwilling to believe what she was hearing.

“I do, and I can’t believe I haven’t noticed before.” Sansa said softly, reaching over hesitantly to interlace her fingers with Margaery’s.

“Are you sure? Now? You just got out of a rough relationship, and I don’t know if you need time to recover from Joffrey-”

“Oh  _ fuck _ Joffrey.”

And with that Sansa leaned across the center console and kissed Margaery.

*

Renly had to pack the entire Stark-plus-Theon clan in the back of his car, where Jon and Arya complained about the music choice, Loras was trying to wipe the frosting (from the cake fight) off his face, and Robb had to sit in Theon’s lap “because we don’t have enough seats”. And it was true that they didn’t have enough seats, but one of them plausibly could have fit in the trunk if it wasn’t full of wine bottles Theon had stolen from Cersei’s stash, so needless to say, Renly was driving a good deal more carefully than he usually did. 

By some miracle, they managed to get all the way to Hot Pie’s Pizza, where they were going to meet up with Margaery and Sansa, without getting pulled over by the cops.

“Alright Theon-  _ Theon-  _ you’re taking the booze out of Ren’s car as soon as Marge comes back with the Starkmobile.” Loras turned around and snapped at Theon when they pulled into the parking space.

“I think your boyfriend can speak for himself.” Theon remarked lazily.

“Theon, take the booze out of my car as soon as Marge comes back with the Starkmobile.”

“I hate couples, let me out.” Arya whined. “Park the damn car already, Renly.”

Renly obeyed, and as soon as the car rolled to a stop Jon and Arya scrambled for the door, and Theon and Robb were ordered out. But Renly and Loras stayed in the car, enjoying their first moment of calm from that whole day.

“So,” Renly said finally, cracking a smile. “If this is our first date, what comes next?”

Loras burst into laughter and leaned in to kiss his boyfriend on the cheek. Renly turned his head to meet Loras’ lips in a soft kiss, threading his fingers through Loras’ curls.

“I was thinking dinner at my house. I’ll even try to cook something that’s not grilled cheese.” 

“Lucky for me, I like grilled cheese.” Renly said, pulling Loras over into his seat and leaning in to kiss him again, hands skimming up Loras’ sides. Loras leaned into the kiss, resting his hands on the back of Renly’s neck and drinking in the smell of cinnamon that always followed him around. Renly traced his kisses down Loras’ jaw to press a string of kisses on his neck.

“Renly,” Loras breathed.

“Yeah?”

“I want pizza.” 

Renly sighed dramatically as Loras smirked and slid out the car door.

Hot Pie’s Pizza was owned by the family of one of Arya’s best friends, it was a bright, open place on the corner of a busy street by the park. The Starks had grabbed a booth by the window, but there was still no sign of Margaery or Sansa.

**Everything okay?** Loras texted his sister. The  _ read at 3:06 pm _ popped up under the blue bubble, but there was no response, no grey texting bubble.  **Marge?**

“Loras, you okay?” Renly asked, but Loras just smiled and nodded. He was worried something bad had happened with Margaery, that she’d gotten her heart broken. He made a mental note to pick up a pint of ice cream on the way home. 

“What took you guys so long?” Theon smirked, but Robb elbowed him in the side.

“Not in front of Arya.” He hissed.

“We didn’t do anything, I swear!” Loras protested. “Anyways, have we ordered yet?”

“Nope, figured we’d wait on the girls.” Robb said. “But who knows when they’ll show up. Who votes pineapple?”

“Robb, how many times do we have to tell you,  _ no one  _ likes pineapple pizza.” Jon groaned. “Pepperoni.”

“Sansa’s going through a vegetarian phase, remember?”

“It’s not a  _ phase _ , assholes.”

The table looked up in surprise to see Sansa, no longer looking as though she’d been crying, and Margaery was beside her, her usually flawless appearance dented only by the fact that her lipstick was smudged, and on closer inspection, a stain of the same shade was streaked along Sansa’s cheek.

“ _ Did you guys kiss? _ ” Arya shrieked what was on all their minds. Sansa flushed a deep shade of red and Margaery’s face lit up.

“Maybe.” Margaery smirked and flipped her hair, sliding into the booth beside Loras. “Anyways, my vote is for cheese.”

*

“And you’re sure that’s the last of it?” Renly asked, leaning against his car as Theon covertly moved an armful of wine bottles into the Starks’ minivan (hidden beneath the seats).

“Positive. By the way, what the fuck is this?” Theon pulled a red wrapped box from the back seat. Beside Margaery, her brother started snickering.

“Oh that was supposed to be Joffrey’s birthday present.” Renly answered.

“Well,” Said Theon, unwrapping the gift. “It’d be a shame to let it go to waste.”

“Oh, I don’t know if you’d really want this.” Loras laughed as Theon’s face registered horror once he’d opened the bag.

“What is it?” Sansa asked, peering over Margaery’s shoulder for a better look. Theon held up the most horrifying form of footwear possible, emblazoned with those horrible yellow things from every commercial for the past year.

“ _ You got him minion crocs?” _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> YAY!! I'll have an epilogue up soon and there will be kissing probably and I promised my friend I'd write the return of Barista Drogo. So as usual, hit me up on tumblr @hoedor, come say hi, tell me what you like, tell me what you didn't like, tell me what I should write next!  
> xoxo


	7. EPILOGUE: Complete task

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Obligatory school dance chapter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AH! It's done, my baby of a fic is finished. Here's a cute little epilogue with more Barista Drogo by popular demand (aka my best friend's insistence).

It was a miracle that The Wall was open so late. Then again, this might have been the busiest night of the year for them. Every table, booth, and stool was occupied by high schoolers returning from the Spring Formal, still wearing their dresses and suits. Margaery looked fondly over her shoulder to see Sansa laughing in the corner table with their friends, looking radiant and happier than she’d been in the months before. Her bright red hair was curled and held in place by a braid crown across her head, her shimmery, pale blue dress matched the corsage on Margaery’s wrist, and the pink corsage on Sansa’s wrist matched Margaery’s dress.

The person in front of her left the line with a black coffee, and she stepped up to the counter. Despite being at the dance earlier, Drogo had returned to his post behind the counter, wearing a tiny apron over his suit, and still looking terrifying. This time, Dany was beside him, looking absolutely stunning, and when Drogo looked over at her, Margaery swore she saw a smile on his face.

“Can I take your order?” Drogo asked in a thick accent.

“Let’s see if I can remember everything, uh, one raspberry vanilla frappuccino, one caramel frappuccino, two iced coffees, one black coffee, and one iced chai please?”

Dany raised her eyebrows at the extensive order, but no task was to great for the greatest barista of all time, Khal Drogo. Within 10 minutes, 6 drinks were on the counter for her, labeled simply with  _ Tyrell _ . 

“Help her carry, sun and stars.” Drogo nodded at Dany, who smiled and kissed his cheek. Margaery could have sworn she saw him blush.

The girls carried over the drinks and delivered them to their rightful owners and Dany returned to the counter. Margaery slid into the booth next to Sansa, who was rehashing all the gossip that occurred with Jeyne and Ygritte.

“I just can’t believe Sam and Gilly  _ finally _ got together,” Sansa said. “They’ve been circling each other for months!”

“Try years.” Jon added from over his iced coffee. He looked slightly ridiculous with a bright red lipstick mark on his cheek from Ygritte. “I taught him everything he knows about girls.”

“Which isn’t much.” His girlfriend smirked. 

Beside Jon, Robb and Theon were deeply engaged in a quiet conversation, leaning in toward each other. Theon had the soft expression on his face that was reserved for Robb and Robb alone, and Robb was  _ blushing _ . Jon was pretending he didn’t notice them, but everyone knew he was their official third wheel. 

Loras who’d spent the entire dance dancing with Renly, was sufficiently exhausted, his overly sweet caramel frappuccino with  _ two  _ espresso shots was barely doing its job of keeping him awake. He was leaning against Renly, who had his arms wrapped around Loras.

“Should I take you home, Lor?” Renly asked.

“I don’t wanna go home yet. I’m not even-” He yawned. “I’m not even tired. I swear.”

“So looks like I’ll have to wait to carry you out.” Renly said, and Loras rolled his eyes. He opened his mouth to say something in response but Renly silenced him with a kiss. “You weigh less than my backpack so I’m not too worried.”

“Shut up, Renly.” Loras muttered sleepily and curled up closer to his boyfriend. 

Margaery smiled, taking a long sip of her iced chai, leaving a ring of pink lipstick around the straw. Under the table, she felt Sansa’s leg knock against her own.

“Hi.” Sansa said, smiling softly.

“Hi yourself.”

“Thanks, Marge.” Sansa said, “For taking me here.”

“Of course I took you! You’re my girlfriend, Sans!” Margaery took Sansa’s face in her hands. In the low light of the coffee shop, Sansa’s grey eyes shone and sparkled under thick lashes. “And can I just say how beautiful you look tonight?”

“You’re such a sap.”

“Through and through.”

And with that, she closed the distance between them and met Sansa’s lips in a gentle kiss.

She figured she could bear to retire from scheme-making for a while.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *kisses this fic* and look at that i finished my first multi-chapter. Now I need to write something else!! hmu in the comments or on tumblr @hoedor with what you liked, what you didn't like, or suggestions for what I should do next.   
> xoxo

**Author's Note:**

> Hello!! I'm super excited about this fic, since we all need some silly high school AUs to act like we can ignore the beheadings in canon. Anyways, feel free to comment and if you catch any glaring errors you can let me know :)  
> Also I'm on tumblr at http://hoebiwan.tumblr.com/ so come say hi and see what i'm up to/yell at me to keep updating this  
> xoxo


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